Cool Quotes Collection
Laughs

Show me a man with his feet planted firmly on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't put his pants on.

Today in my World History class, a student said, "Well, we thought that by mentioning the East Indies, you meant the British East India Company". To which the Teacher promptly replied "Ah, so you were mislead by stupidity".

Mr Handler

I've had a wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

Groucho Marx

When was a lad, there was only one Germany, Latvia, Estonia, Khazachstan, Eusbekistan, Bosnia, Herzegovina; and then it all changed. And then it all changed back again. Those changes cost the lives of 66 million people. But it didn't cost me a penny -- 'cause I kept my old atlas.

Old Man

I think slangs are existing for make fun of foreign exchange students.

One foreign exchange student from Japan

There is no such thing as a bisexual... just greedy people.

Scott Meska

You know, evil comes in many forms, be it a man-eating cow or Joseph Stalin. But you can't let the package hide the pudding. Evil is just plain bad! You don't cotton to it! You gotta smack it on the nose with the rolled up newspaper of goodness! Bad dog! Bad dog!

The Tick, from the TV show

Jennifer Flowers was asked recently if her sexual relationship with Bill Clinton was similar to the one he had with Monica Lewinsky. She replied, "Close, but no cigar."

Fail, #poolside

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