Cool Quotes Collection
Laughs

Never bring a goat to a rock concert because it would hurt a lot if you fell!!

Christy Horner's (personal experience)

"Weird people are like chocolate cake... some people can't handle the richness"

Kiki Bernat

"I think I puked on my cat"

T. Christmann, "Sunday Morning Sililoquy"

Times spent wasted are not wasted times.

"Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put."

Winston Churchill (to his editor)

"Time flies like the wind... Fruit flies like bananas."

Bathroom wall at Gordon Tech high school in Chicago

You can make me come it doesn't make you Jesus

Tori Amos "Precious Things"

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself "mankind" Basically it is made up of two separate words- "Mank" and "ind" What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.

Deep thoughts by Jack Handy

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited over nothing, and then they go and marry him.

Cher, in Rolling Stone

What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.

Rick N.

Have you ever been in therapy? No? You should try it. It's like a really easy game show where the correct answer to every question is: "Because of my mother."

Robin Greenspan

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.

Renée Hicks

The moon may kiss the stars so high
The sun may kiss the bright blue sky
The dew may kiss the morning grass
But you my friend, can kiss my ass

So what are you going to do? Release the dogs, or the bees, or the dogs with bees in their mouths so when they bark they shoot bees at you?

Homer Simpson

Can't talk, must eat.

Homer Simpson

Meat is murder. That kinda makes all predators murderers.

You know you are getting too old, when the candles cost more than the cake.

Never argue with an idiot. He'll bring you down to his level, then beat you with experience.

Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?

Sex is Evil,
Sex is Sin,
Sins are forgiven,
So Let's Begin!

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