Cool Quotes Collection
Laughs

Empty what is full, fill what is empty and scratch where it itches.

Unknown & GI

For centuries to come, many years will pass.

Pat Paulsen

"Gravity always wins."

Recent proclamation

I am not an alcoholic. I am a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.

T-shirt in window display in Washington, DC

It's a very fine line that separates first class from half assed.

Robert Jan

The way to tell a field hand from an office hand is as follows: An office hand will use the restroom, then wash hands; A field hand will wash hands then use the restroom.

Observation

A dog looks up to humans. A cat looks down on people. But a pig will look a human in the eye and see its equal.

Winston Churchill

Never try to teach a pig to sing. You waste your time, and you annoy the pig.

Farmer Peterson

Life is like a game of cards. If you don't have a partner, you better have a good hand.

Someone's girlfriend

You wouldn't recognize a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked upon a harpsichord singing "Subtle Plans are Here Again."

Edmund Blackadder

It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.

Prairie Home Companion

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

A Starwars fan

The Norwegian language have the letters æ, ø and å. The name "Mr. Sørås" gets to be "Mr. Sore As".

His friend Stein

"All my life I wanted to be someone ; I guess I should of been more specific".

Jane Wagner

Don't judge a man by his boxers, it's what's inside that counts.

Diana

Buy land, they have quit making it!

Scott Salley

"If you can read this, then you're close enough that I can slam on my brakes and sue you for all you're worth".

Bumper Sticker

How many Scots does it take to screw in a light bulb?

20. One to hold the light bulb and the rest to get drunk enough to make the room spin.

Friend of mine

Think globally, act loco.

J. Killian

Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do on a rainy afternoon.

Susan Ertz

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