"I'm too young to die!"

My grandfather, age 94

Here lies an atheist, all dressed up and nowhere to go.

Epitath

Nobody can overthrow me. I have 700'000 troops, all the workers and most of the people. Wherever I go, there are fantastic demonstrations of support.

Mohammed Reza Pahlavi, Shah of Iran, in July 1978, shortly before he was overthrown by the Islamic revolution

It is nothing.

Archduke Franz Ferdinand's last words after being shot in Sarajevo on June 28, 1914

If I knew I was going to live so long, I would have taken better care of myself.

My grandmother, who died at 99

Ah, the vultures are circling.

Juniper's great-grandfather

Don't let it end this way, tell them I said something.

Poncho Villa

"My work here is done, why wait?"

Eastmans' (founder of Kodak) last words before he killed himself

When I die, I want you to bury me upside down, so the whole world can kiss my ass.

Gravestone

Dying is easy... Comedy is hard.

Marcel Marceau

Here lies Charlie McCraw,
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.

Tombstone Inscription

I guess it's my turn I'll see you on the other side.

Joseph Stahle, 1989

I once dreamed of death, now death dreams of me. Only the rats and worms can hear my silent plea.

Unknown

When I die bury me deep with a six-pack of beer between my feet, a 5th of liquor and a bottle of rum.

I'll raise hell to kingdom come

Chris Barton

"Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don't have the balls to live in the real world."

Mary Shafer, NASA Ames Dryden (ok that was not really her last words..)

Here lies Lester Moore,
Four shots from a .44,
No Les,
no more.

Tombstone

Poorly Lived and Poorly Died
Poor buried and no one Cried

Tombstone inscription

The rest is silence.

Shakespeare

"Call the office and tell them I won't be in on Monday."

Betty Allen, who worked until her death at 93

Well shoot me. [pause] NOT LITERALLY!!